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„Scapegoatus Inadequatus”

20”x24” encaustic/ mixed media on wood, 2022 November.

When someone throws a lemon at you, throw him a lemon loaf (while dancing on eggshells). Isn’t that what the Bible said?

This might be my last piece on NPD... I analyzed, dissected, discussed and understood everything relevant I stumbled upon regarding this topic– these people are lost souls who built up their stonewalls long ago and been in denial ever since; thus they most likely will never change. It's too late and they know it deep down - they even acknowledge it sometimes, but as the recipient of such candor I could never hear what I didn't want to hear. There’s something liberating though about being the black sheep/ scapegoat of the family or "cult", should that be the one growing up with, or a later one trying to fit into – just to learn once again that it’s impossible to conform to such toxic environment.

Inability to fit in motivates you to find higher purpose in life. Leave your small town, get exceptional education, cross the ocean driven by the mission of your choice, end up in an extraordinary intellectual hotspot, and ultimately make a difference in the world. Being used to the outlier role, you might as well just proudly own it.

I close my train of thoughts with my favorite quote from Don Quixote:

“I would do what I pleased, and doing what I pleased, I should have my will, and having my will, I should be contented; and when one is contented, there is no more to be desired; and when there is no more to be desired, there is an end of it.”

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